Let’s talk about the thing no one wants to talk about- death and dying. When working in the healthcare field, we often skirt around conversations involving the words “death,” so let’s talk about it.
Over the last six years of my nursing career, I have seen dozens of patients die. I first developed a passion for the end-of-life population while working as a hospice nurse, and then fell even more in love with these cases while in the ICU. I finally took a dive into hospice nursing (without even knowing what the heck a hospice nurse did), and knew that I found my calling.
In my episode of Nurse Converse Podcast, I take you with me recounting stories of death, and taking a hard look into the toxicity around our patients dying. We often are told to manage our “self-care,” but it’s often much easier said than done. In this episode, I cover specific ways I was able to make self-care a priority in the realm of dealing with frequent death.
@court.nurseDeath Is Everywhere
No matter what department you work in, you are not immune from death. This means we all need to come prepared to not only have difficult conversations with co-workers, families, and patients but also realize how we will cope with these situations.
When it comes to dealing with death, some of my suggestions are:
- Prioritize self-care: setting boundaries, allowing yourself to feel all the emotions, journaling, and spending time reflecting
- Talk about your feelings and experiences (in a HIPAA-compliant way) with non-healthcare workers. In healthcare, we tend to wear our trauma and burnout as a badge of honor, and I find that talking to people outside our world can help me realize how much I really have been through and how shocking it really is
- Remembering: “I can’t control how this person will die, I can’t control their cancer/ALS/massive trauma, but I can control their comfort during their death, I can make sure their family is reassured, and I can advocate for their wishes.”
Courtney at one of her regular hospice patient’s house, where you quickly learn to love the animals as much as the patients)
When dealing with the more “technical side” of death, I also have some suggestions. When talking to family, try to keep a low tone of voice that is calm and confident. The family is often looking to you for any guidance or answers during this time, so coming across as self-assured is very important.
You can also prepare the room for patients and their loved ones by dimming the lights, removing vital signs equipment, and getting a snack cart ready. And yes- filling out the whiteboard so they know your name is actually very important in this case.
Courtney spent time at a local nursing home visiting with one of her patients
Death is impending for all of us.
Regardless of your field, as a nurse, it is something you encounter. Take these reminders with you as you continue your journey.
