I am proud to be autistic; it has shaped me into not only the woman that I am today but also the student nurse and qualified nurse that I want to be.
Being autistic means that I can store large amounts of facts in my mind and not be afraid to question the status quo. I can be an advocate for those around me and recognise when other autistic and neurodivergent individuals are not getting the equity that they deserve.
Being autistic is also a disability and can make my life so much more difficult than it needs to be. I can become easily overwhelmed by too much sensory input, such as lots of different noises and bright hospital lights. Some days, it can feel like every nerve of my body is exposed to the outside world, and life will always be too bright and too much.
“I hope by writing this article that other will feel safe to share their stories”
I am currently halfway through my second placement of my second year, reaching the halfway point of my degree. While this placement has been the most amazing experience, it has also given me some of the biggest challenges. And all I can think is, would it be easier if I just disclosed to all those that I work with that I am autistic and require reasonable adjustments?
There are a selected few who I have disclosed to, those that really do need to know. But the nurse that I am working with, just for that day? It is rare that I would tell them, even if it could help me through that shift.
Despite being a huge advocate for neurodivergent equity, hosting webinars and talks, and even being able to write this article openly, I still massively struggle to disclose my disability to those around me. And I am not the only one. When I speak to other neurodivergent students, they often feel that they must keep this part of them private, even though it has a massive impact on their daily lives and their ability to learn.
I don’t know why others don’t disclose, but for me, it comes from a place of fear. There is still a stigma attached to neurodivergent conditions such as autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). In fact, I often hear jokes about these disabilities and that ADHD is just an excuse for naughtiness and autism for rudeness. Add in that neurodivergent people are more likely to have struggles with their mental health, and there is extra stigma and fear.
I have tried to be more open about being autistic and have been told, “Oh, well, aren’t you doing well for yourself?” and “You don’t look it; I would have never known”. Comments like these are often from a good place and are meant to be a compliment. However, they left me feeling hurt and questioning if I did the right thing by disclosing.
After all that, my learning experience may not even be improved and now everyone knows something personal about me and may be prejudice against me for it.
But then sometimes my voice is heard. My reasonable adjustments are met. I can be the most authentic version of myself. I learn in the way that is right for me, without impacting the care that I give to my patients. I can be an autistic student nurse. I can be Jess.
Deciding whether to disclose a neurodivergent condition, or any other health condition, is an incredibly personal decision and one that only an individual can make. It can make life so much easier but occasionally can make life a bit harder. You can be met with understanding and ally’s or the occasional ignorance.
From now on, I will try to open up and advocate for myself and my learning. I hope by writing this article that other will feel safe to share their stories and also advocate for themselves.
Jess Pidcock is a second-year children’s nursing student at Sheffield Hallam University and 2023-24 Nursing Times student editor